This year has brought a lot of change. I turned 40 and with it came a laundry list of anxieties and insecurities but also a vast deepening into what I want my life to feel like. One of the best and key changes I made was stepping away from social media. Sometime in the Spring I removed everything except messenger and Pinterest off my phone, thinking that would do it. At first, I found myself unconsciously grabbing my phone and trying to open an app that wasn’t there anymore. It was so ingrained into my behaviour and it made me feel sick. Over time, however, this faded away and I started to find space in between my thoughts, space to notice what was going on in my body and in my mind, space to realize I really didn’t like what was going on.
A few really hard months, many counselling sessions later and guidance from my naturopath I was feeling much stronger and steady. It wasn’t until our family’s vacation this Fall that I found myself still numbly scrolling through the apps I had left on my phone. I realized I would far rather be numbly staring at absolutely anything in that tropical place than staring at Pinterest… and saving more than a lifetime of ideas that I am 99.9% sure I will never even look at again. So off came the last two apps, along with a whole lot of email unsubscribes.
At first my brain was BORED and I itched to have something to do or read or think about. Over time, and it didn’t take as long as I thought it would, this opening happened and not only did I feel and find more space in my life for all the things I enjoy (baking included) but I started having real connections again with my actual friends. I’d send voice notes and “thinking about you” texts for no reason other than my brain had the space to think about these relationships again.
As we turn into the final month of the year I continue to sink deeper into all of this. For the first time, I scribbled out a blog post with pen and paper before committing it to my blog, letting the thoughts flow unencumbered by who is going to read it and how well the sentences work together. And my phone… my phone has simply become a tool again to help me when I need it instead of something keeping me tethered to the madness of information that is the algorithm. I love it.
I also love these cookies (subtle segue hahaha). For real though, its all part of this year’s journey as I felt blocked for so long that these Dutch buttercake cookies never made it to the blog last year. I recently made them again as I fired up my Christmas baking and am finally feeling creatively unblocked so here we are.
I was first introduced to these Dutch buttercake cookies that a neighbour had dropped off at my Oma’s house during Christmastime. Tiny morsels of utter decadence. So buttery, so dense with that hint of almond, I just had to know what they were. After some digging, her and I figured out what they were called but her neighbour’s recipe was supposedly a secret! Bah! A few years later though the recipe was slipped to my Oma and then to me through someone else. I did some comparison online and after tweaking a few things, landed on the recipe below. Although Dutch buttercake is traditionally sliced in small wedges and eaten as a slice of cake (like the name suggests) I first had these as little squares so I have continued on this way. Mind you, these are so good it is very easy to eat just as many squares as you would eating a slice!
Here’s to decadent holiday treats and living our lives just a little more analog.
Happy baking and happy holidays!
Sophie
p.s. Although this recipe for Dutch buttercake cookies will make it onto my Instagram, I won’t be active there much anymore other than when I have a new recipe to share. So on that note, here’s what I have and will be baking this holiday season. It’s long but I’ve cut it down from previous years (in 2021 I made a whopping 14 goodies. Yeesh!).
Dutch Buttercake Cookies (recipe below)
Shortbread Cookies
Hazelnut Macaroons
German Spice Cookies (Spekulatius)
Lemon Crackle Cookies
Walnut Stollen
Sugar Cookies (Sally’s Baking Addiction)
Toffee (Sally’s Baking Addiction)
Candied Pecans (Tastes Better from Scratch)
Dutch Buttercake Cookies (Boterkoek)
Ingredients
- 250 g all-purpose flour
- 250 g granulated sugar
- pinch of sea salt
- 250 g unsalted butter at room temperature
- 1 large egg at room temperature
- 1/4 tsp almond extract
Almond Topping
- 1 egg white
- 1/4 c sliced almonds
Instructions
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Grease an 9×9" square metal baking pan or line it with parchment paper. Preheat the oven to 350F.
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In a large bowl mix together the flour, sugar and salt. Add the butter, egg and almond extract to the flour mixture. Mix well with your hands until the dough is smooth and completely incorporated. Press the dough into the prepared baking pan evenly.
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Brush a thin layer of egg white on top of the dough and sprinkle with sliced almonds. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes until the edges and bottom are light golden brown. Remove from the oven, allow to cool to warm, then cut into squares in the baking pan. Allow the squares to cool to room temperature before removing from the baking pan.
